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I am too young to be writing this.
Even as I write, I hear the tiny whisper saying, Nobody will take your writing seriously because you don’t even understand anything yet. You’re just 14. That’s not God’s whisper– that’s Satan’s. So although I hear it and it’s so tempting to believe it, I know God is telling me the opposite. Bear with me as I struggle to continue.
For a while now, I’ve either been told or heard the following multiple times:
“I keep forgetting she’s only 14!”
“She is more mature than her age.”
“Your faith inspires me” (in a surprised way).
I guess that’s probably true, but I don’t really like judging myself when it comes to maturity and faith. And statements like these make me feel like I’m out of place at the age I am.
The truth is, I do love God. So much. Like, so much like, WOW, I can’t even describe! But when I hear messages like the above, I hear it as, “but you’re too young to have this strong of a love for God.” It’s a lie from Satan, whispered into my ears.
“Ugh. Fine, Satan– I’ll keep it dull when I tell others I love God.” I reply. He probably smirks and says, “Good girl.”
Why do I keep saying ‘okay’ to Satan?
Is it because he’s scary? I mean, he hurts people for an eternity… I need to get on his good side, right? No! I need to obey God instead! He tells me what to do, not Satan. Didn’t I say that’s why I’m writing this in the first place?
The other night I was on YouVersion (the Bible app on my phone) to read my Bible and catch up on my Bible reading plan. While opening the app, my mind started thinking about how I always think I am too young to have a real relationship with God. Otherwise people wouldn’t be so shocked when they know me. It’s a passing thought, so I go back to focusing on the app. Usually, I don’t pay attention to the ‘verse of the day’ that YouVersion provides; however, for some reason on this particular night, I decided to read it. And guess what verse just happened to be there? Yep, it was about this whole “too young” thing. (Thanks, God!). The verse was 1 Timothy 4:12: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, love, and purity.”
Pretty awesome stuff, I know. That’s how God rolls. He is pretty awesome. So, naturally I got all excited and wanted to shout “THIS IS MY NEW LIFE VERSE, LIKE, WOW!” because God had sent that verse right to me. Right to me!
I still get scared of being judged by other people because of being only 14, even after reading this verse. Why? Because Satan’s a jerk and he likes to make me believe that stuff, and my flesh is weak so I often do fall into that trap. It’s pretty sad. But I cling to that verse even when I am tempted. Set the believers an example in speech… AKA writing, right? Which I love to write, anyway! So by writing out my struggles and also telling everyone how I love God so so so SO much on this page, I realized I could be setting the believers an example!
I don’t like saying that I am setting an ‘example’ because I’m really not. Or maybe I am… I’m not sure. I’m just telling you my thoughts and life and if you take it as an example, wonderful! If you take it as just a really cool thing I wrote, wonderful! If you take it as an inspiration, wonderful! Or if you hate it, not so wonderful but that’s okay. But this is mainly for myself, to help me fight against Satan, obeying God and DISobeying him.
I might be young, but this is the age that God knew I would be like this. I might be young and feel out of place. I don’t even feel like a 8th grader. Because me and God are besties, I feel like I should be older. But that’s wrong, I don’t need to be older. I can love him with all my heart right now, embracing the fact that I’m 14 and in 8th grade.
Usually, I’m pretty embarrassed to be one of those “8th graders”. Honestly I wish I was in 9th grade, because then I would get more respect, right? People wouldn’t be as surprised when I tell them I’m in 8th, and not in 9th or 10th. But I have to keep telling myself that’s not true. I’m not an 9th grader, and I’m blessed to be where I am. And most of all, I’m blessed to have the faith I have in 8th grade, as a 14-year-old.
I’m still fighting with this temptation, “I’m too young.” Not just with my faith, but life in general. I find myself being very lazy, like, super lazy, because I’m “too young” to do anything better with myself. But God is helping me, I still have a wonderful relationship with Him, even when I can only hear Satan talking to me not God. I know God is there, and He keeps answering my prayers, like the one I said last night before I wrote this, asking for me to actually write this.
In conclusion, I am NOT too young to know and love God as much as I do. I am NOT too young to tell others about Him. I am NOT too young for God.
(Thanks for reading, this took a lot of courage for me!)
***Remember: God is your amazing dad– don’t be afraid to tell others that.